What does your inner dialogue sound like most of the time? How do you talk to yourself when things do not go as planned? Are you aware of what you are saying to yourself: both positive and negative? If at any point you are unkind to yourself, then let us discuss ways to better this process. Read on for 9 tips that may help you limit the negative self-talk.
Become self-aware: The most important first step is to become self-aware of the language you use with yourself. Slow down so you take into account your speech. How often do you say, “I’m a failure” or “I’ll never lose the extra weight” or something to that measure? Start taking notice of the adjectives you use for yourself.
Spend some time in silence as that is when the inner voice is the loudest. Remember, what you say to yourself eventually gets said to someone else in some shape or form. If you constantly call yourself stupid, it will become second nature to call your child or significant other stupid. Therefore, begin to pay attention to your conversations with yourself.
Name your inner critic: Sounds silly, but this step helps you disassociate from the negative identify that you may have created of yourself. Mine is named Lola; no offense to anyone named Lola! It was the first name that popped in my head and sounded suitable. I have outright told Lola to shut up or get a life. If I hear myself say I am not enough, I can pause and know that is Lola talking. Why? Because I know that I love myself too much to treat myself unkindly.
Write down your negative thoughts: Make a list of the unpleasant things you say to yourself.
Then go back to that list and start asking yourself, “Is this true?” Seeing the damaging thoughts on paper allows us to decipher between truth and fiction. Put pen to paper, question and get curious about these thoughts. Never forget that during life’s hardest moments, you did your absolute best. Hindsight is 20/20, and we rarely give ourselves due credit.
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