Often times, we seek motivation and inspiration from the lives of people we admire. I don’t know what you’re going to get out of my story, but welcome to my reality.
I grew up fast – it’ll always remain the bedrock of my passion and inspiration, because at 6, I knew the world could be a scary place if one couldn’t earn to meet their needs. I was the second of three children raised by a strong woman. At 6, I struggled to find solace somewhere and at 6, again, I had my first shot of alcohol. A lot of things happened at 6, good and bad. And above all, it was the defining moment of my life when I found solace in writing. I found peace in the little universe I tried to build in my head.
I grew up in the rough side of the city but my siblings and I were bright and cheerful kids. We all weren’t even a year old when we found ourselves in school. We were smart kids and we knew how to stay on our own when mum went off to work. Most times we locked the doors from behind and other times, we followed the aroma of our favourite neighbour’s cooking.
When I was thirteen and in sophomore year, I started to write my first adult drama series. I wrote it during the break period – it was my only free time at school – and also filled my tummy with the excitement from doing something I loved. I found joy in writing. It was home.
Sophomore and senior year passed so quickly with me enjoying every bit of school. Well, not every bit – I hated math. But I’d made the right choices with friends who have now become family.
However, things didn’t pan out the way I expected. I sought admission into the tertiary institution with a dream to study dramatic arts, but I was few marks away from the required points, and so I found myself in performing arts where I studied Music. I really didn’t want to sit back a year, and thus I tried to see the positive aspect of this. Music is a huge part of movies. Did that sound smart? I bet it did!
But I was finding it challenging to keep up with the course, and soon I found myself in university sophomore year at the age of seventeen, working part-time jobs, trying to keep up with drama and writing. But it was taking a toll on my health. The country I grew up in – and still live – in smiles at no one, and if you aren’t keeping up with the same energy, you might get burned out. I was always too busy doing one thing or the other and neglected my health, family and friends. And then it hit.
It started with an ulcer at sixteen, and high blood pressure at seventeen. Somewhere down there, I blamed my mum for not realizing my talents early on time and getting me on the platform that would have allowed them to be nurtured and honed into perfection. To help me build a life from them. But honestly, what we did or could do were the least of our problems as a family.
Let’s juggle back to when I grew older. I didn’t believe in free time. I had to be constantly doing something. I’d spend my time reading, writing, working a day job, reading and writing some more. I trained myself in other areas of writing such as Academic writing (SOP, personal statements and more), Content writing, Ghostwriting children books and rhyming stories, while honing my play writing skills. I alo tried my luck sending messages and my CV to celebrities in the movie industry. They never responded. My diet became terrible and I slept roughly thirteen hours a week.
I finished university and found myself in the “Trenches”, a Nigerian slang for street or tough life, where I did several jobs from content writing, to scripts for radio programmes, to resumes to writing articles. Then later in 2021, I got a call from a junior colleague who needed me to write the screenplay he’d use for his final year project.
Here’s something you should note: wherever you go, excel at what you do. Let people know and see for themselves that you really know what you say you do. Let them see what you have to offer.
I agreed to write the screenplay and found myself at the center of the production. It became my filmmaking debut and ever since then, I became very positive about my career. And then, I got on LinkedIn. Soon, I got noticed by David Cunningham, CEO of Elephant Movies, who read the screenplay for my debut movie, Grey, and in his own words, “A great story well told.”
And Grey got into kiffest.uk, the inaugural film festival. I also met Tony Hyland who was intrigued by my writing and decided to get me published. He also wished to work with me on certain projects. I also got commended by a friend of mine who went off to UK for his Masters; I wrote short films for his class project at Westminster University. I also wrote a couple of scripts for radio dramas and podcasts for individual purposes at the same university. I’ve become a Nigerian who operates in the global world of writers.
Wait, hold up a second. I like to think I don’t have much monetarily – not yet, at least – but I’ve done an amazing job with my network. Amidst these outstanding achievements, I battled with my health, which I’d neglected. I had such terrible eating habits and soon, I showed symptoms of anemia and gastritis. I was petrified. I was still dealing with prior health issues.
I’m sickeningly introverted and never shared my discomfort. I was always on about my business and career. I always pretend to be okay. In contrast, I’m fragile as glass. (My friends are probably going to have a field day because I admitted this fact. We can’t be strong all the time.)
Despite my health challenges, I starved myself. I didn’t do that because I had no money. I was foolishly too busy or I forgot to fill my stomach. I had the wrong mindset about success:
"You can only rest after you're dead."
This quote almost cost me my life. Though its purpose was to keep me in check, it nearly destroyed me. It made me a work addict who wouldn’t spend time resting or hanging out with friends and family. I never fancied the idea of spending time on engagements that never brought me money. I became greedy. And what’s worse is, I didn’t get this money I so much desired and ran my sweats for. I didn’t even bother having a love life. I became a shadow of myself.
Then, I came to the realization myself that we need to be at the right places and meet the right people to move forward, and ever since then, I have given myself permission to come up for air. I spend quality time with friends and family and go on dates. Hey, my love life still sucks but here’s a start.
Lessons Learnt:
1. "Finding success is not determined by how much you make yourself suffer."
Have a scheduled pattern to work. If you are a night worker, rest in the day and vice versa. Create time to relax and eat well. You should know that only a living person can dream and accomplish it. If you lose your life, that is the end of your dreams.
2. "You will not always have someone to cheer you up. Be your own drive."
Be a self-motivated individual. It’ll be a disaster if you don’t believe in what you are doing.
3. "If you are not born with a silver spoon, you’d likely not get someone to support your dreams early in life."
I'm a woman who, with a positive mindset, honesty, hard work, self-motivation and some inherent abilities, is living extraordinarily despite not being born with a silver spoon.
4. Be you and most importantly, be the absolute best and you're on your journey to living an extraordinary life.
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