Becoming a better YOU! Stand up for who you are.
Respect yourself and ignite the divine sparks within you. Sometimes you will hear “NO” - 99 times before you can get than “ONE” YES! Sometimes we have to repeatedly fall before we can stand our ground. But the beauty in all that is that It doesn’t matter how many times you fall or how many times you hear No! – it only takes one YES for things to change for things to turn around. You only need that ONE door to open for you.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the negative, the locked doors and the rejections but they are not the problem, they are part of the process, the road that we have to go through to get to our destination. One of the greatest things you can do for yourself and for your goals is to depersonalize these locked doors, they are not the world working against you – they are the world working for you, bringing you one step closer to the path that you need to take.
Don’t stop at door one, door 2 or door 50 – stop when you have found the answer you’re seeking.
There are no mistakes because you have a supreme destiny. Here is some TIPS (Techniques, Ideas, Principles & Strategies)– that I would like to share with you on your success journey.
NO.1
Take responsibility for your life – If you are sitting around waiting on somebody to fix you, save you or help you – you are wasting your time because only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life forward to start the next chapter to become a better version of yourself and the sooner you get into motion the sooner your life gets into gear.
Your past is not your fault, whether you were born in a poor family or you came from a broken home whether your mum was educated or not, accept what was in the past, forgive it, take responsibility and move forward.
NO.2
What do you say when you talk to yourself:
Most of us say, I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy enough, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not… this is playing on repeat in your head for a lot of people. If you are not conscious of your thoughts then you act out of that belief system and not what you want to be the best for yourself. I was a precocious child that grew up in a single parent home with not much to get by. I had this habit of talking to myself in the mirror pretending to be a news anchor or a talk show host and I would pretend to be signing books that I wrote.
Who knew 38 years later and published 2 books. I knew that there were better things to come for me. I questioned everything and looked for a deeper meaning of things and not followed the herd mentality. The choices you make are what you live with. Don’t live a life of regret. Certain times we act on things and live with regrets that take us to the grave sooner. Learn to forgive yourself on move on. One of my famous saying in my first book “Saiorse” – I mention: Put on your big girl panties and deal with the situation, and guys – put on your big boy pants. Like Mandela said: It always seems impossible until its done – DO IT! And get over with it.
There are no mistakes. Feel your destiny when your gut tells you to do something, there are no wrong paths, there are no such things as failures, it’s just a change in course for you to change direction. Embrace your losses and your adversities as they are there to wake you up, for you to learn a lesson. Don’t allow a grade or a job or anything dictate your life. Your life is bigger than anything, it’s what you make of it.
Stop for a minute and look at your 10-year-old self, what you say to him/her. I would say Relax, it’s gonna be okay, really, it’s gonna be ok, don’t allow yourself to be thrown of course, when you feel like you off your course or path, that’s the key – the indication to know it’s time to turn around or change direction. If you are faced with a challenge – Halt – Breath – ask yourself what is the next right move – not think about the end goal and feel you not going to achieve it. Just take the next step – keep moving. Don’t be defined by what somebody says, your life is bigger than that. Failure is there to just steer you in the next direction.
Start your day with affirmations: As soon as you awake every morning while lying in bed, this is the best time as your brain is in a receptive alpha state - say some of these affirmations:
I trust myself to make the right choices,
I believe in myself and my abilities,
I radiate self-assurance and poise,
I am deserving of love respect and success,
I attract positive and confident people into myself,
My self-esteem is unwavering,
I stand tall and proud of who I am
You can create your own affirmations. Make it short impactful statements and watch how your life changes for the better.
NO.3
Take care of yourself. Give from your saucer, not your cup. Keep your cup full and think about yourself first. We think about everybody else and put everybody else first. Stop! put yourself first and remember: NO - is a full sentence. If you are invited to your sister in laws house (the one you don’t like) and you know you are going to leave there feeling throttled and uncomfortable, say No – you don’t have to explain yourself. You choose your battles. I remind myself that my life is worth living and that I am a unique one.
NO.4
I am the master of my destiny. I am responsible for my fate and the choices I make in my life. I am the captain of my soul. Your dreams should be so big hairy and audacious that it scares your socks of. You don’t get what you wish for or what you hope for – You get what you believe in. What is it that you believe Gods purpose is for you?
NO.5
Keep your energy levels high. Eat healthily, a good biryani snuck in here and there won’t do real harm but keep to a healthy eating plan. Exercise, educate yourself, read at least one chapter or even one paragraph a day. We as humans are always longing for something more. This gets labelled as greed or conquest. Make a vision board with your goals and dreams and look at it daily.
Love yourself." How can a two-word sentence can be so powerful, that it has changed lives of millions of people? Self-love is not being selfish; it is just putting yourself first and not being too tough on yourself. So next time you hear that little voice in your head telling you that you are not good enough or that you cannot afford to make mistakes, just ignore it. When our loved ones make a mistake, we often forgive them easily, but when we make a mistake, we are often too hard on ourselves.
The first step of self-love is realizing that we are only human and it is okay to make mistakes; it is okay to lose at times; it is okay to not have the best day…week…or month. All we need to do is love ourselves and let the negative things pass through, eventually things will change and bad times will pass. Self-love has many benefits; the first benefit is greater life satisfaction. When we love ourselves more, we instantly change our perspective of the world. Self-love can give us a more positive attitude towards life. I went through very traumatic time in my life, I just wanted to leave the world. I might not really want to die, I just wanted to escape. When I came to know about Love Myself, what I did was during such bad times, when the thought of death was about to come in my head, I told myself, "Love yourself."
When people made me think I was the problem and I didn’t belong to the world, I told myself, "Love yourself." When people criticized me harshly, I told myself, "Hey, why are you breaking down? Don't you love yourself?" And it worked.
I try to live every moment and look ahead instead of being afraid of changes and what lies ahead.
Keep a journal, list at least five things that you are grateful for every day. I end with my favourite poem by Benjamin May: It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream. It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal, but it is a disaster to have no ideal to capture. It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. Not failure, but low aim is sin.” you I want each and every one of to go FLY – First Love yourself.
Love & Light Tammy
Comments