A healthy relationship is an evolving relationship. Therefore building a healthy relationship takes commitment! Setting the foundation for a positive and healthy relationship is not difficult; however, you have to know what you want from a relationship and at the same time know what you can give!
Relationships blossom when both partners have shared goals; most importantly power and control in the relationship is balanced.
When you find yourself fighting constantly with your partner and unable to work things out, this is a sign that your relationship needs some attention.
Early in life, we are led to believe that other people determine our happiness. This is a misconception and when it comes to relationships each person has to take responsibility for their own happiness.
A healthy relationship is when two people are able to connect based on a number of attributes, which are outlined below.
1. Communication
Problems can arise in relationships when two people fail to communicate effectively. Communication goes beyond talking. We communicate our feelings, ideas and thoughts through verbal and nonverbal means. Communication is the pulse in every relationship. For a relationship to prosper, there is a need for clear communication. Although research shows that communication is strengthened when we talk about the experiences we have in common; what is also crucial in every relationship is to ask questions and never assume you know the answers!
2. Responsibility
If you want a healthy relationship you have to be emotionally responsible and not emotionally dependent. You are responsible for all your emotional states, the pleasant and the unpleasant!
Accepting responsibility for your relationship means avoiding blaming someone else for your uncomfortable feelings, When people do not take responsibility for their feelings, they leave a trail of confusion in their relationship.
3. Appreciation
In a relationship where there is no appreciation, your partner may feel like they are being taken for granted. To be able to build a healthy relationship you need to appreciate your partner for their strengths. Instead of focusing on their mistakes and weaknesses, focus on the things that they do best to contribute to your relationship, and never hesitate to speak out and show your appreciation. No matter how small, appreciate what you both contribute to the relationship!
4. Respect
Mutual respect is important in every relationship, no matter the differences of the people involved. Differences in age, educational, religion, social class and career may exist in your relationship but this shouldn’t prevent you from respecting each other. Showing mutual respect means treating your partner in a thoughtful and courteous way!
Respect can be lost when the day to day stresses of your relationship takes over. Strive to treat each other with respect at all times and make this a habit of your relationship.
5. Trust
In order for a relationship to work, you have to trust each other. Trust is an essential part of a relationship. Without trust, there can be no relationship. The lack of trust in relationships can bring about suspicions and accusations. Dishonesty is usually considered as the underlying factor when it comes to mistrust. However, If you feel that your partner does not have your best interest at heart, lack of trust will inevitably develop!
When mistrust develops in a relationship, holding back on emotions, or reliving past painful events can keep the relationship stagnant. You may be in a relationship where your partner is continuously doing things that cause you to mistrust them. Reflect if this mistrust developed in your relationship, or if it’s a pre-existing problem. If your partner is not being transparent, you have to ask yourself, what are their intentions and can they be committed to the relationship?
6. Forgiveness
The quality of your relationship will be determined by your willingness to forgive. When you keep offences and bitterness in a relationship, it can change your view or perception of your partner. Letting go of your anger will enable you to disconnect yourself from unhelpful thoughts you may have towards your partner.
Forgiveness is a skill! Rather than carrying pain from a past relationship, learn from it and move on! Avoid allowing your past to define you and drag you down in an unhealthy way! Relationships can only thrive when couples are kind and able to express themselves freely. It may sound cliche, but everything happens in a season. Letting go of your past will enable you to move on and develop healthier relationships.
7. Spend quality time together
Be committed to spending quality time with your partner. The best way to see if you are devoting enough time to your relationship is to ask. Look at your relationship as being a great thing in your life. Be self-aware and keep your relationship as a priority. Don’t let work commitments drive you part!. When you spend time together reflect on how you make each other feel.
Avoid ‘me vs you’ but rather focus on you both having to work through and solve the problems that may arise in your relationship. Work as a team and explore solutions to solve any problems.
These are my top tips. Apply them so that you can work towards a healthy and successful relationship.
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