From the moment we are conceived in our mother's belly, our “life story” starts. Unfortunately, people who have a happy beginning to a story are rare (I’ll ask all the parents not to get angry at this, but it’s a fact).
So, the creation of a human is usually started by our biological parents (or with a help of technology, but two ingredients are necessary), which often didn’t (even if they usually think they did) commit that act out of love (Love -term explained in the special glossary).
Depending on the motives of our parents, from the moment we are conceived, we start to absorb that information, including all thoughts and emotions coming from our mother, and her interaction with her surroundings. All of these things act like tiny invisible threads, which spread in our cells which are still in the process of creation.
Therefore, as soon as we’re in the womb, we start to get the first emotional picture of ourselves, our mother, and the world we’re about to step into, or fall out upside down (in most cases it is also called natural childbirth). That might be nature’s work as well, to prepare us for this world also turned upside down.
Our programming, therefore, already started, even before we opened our eyes, and this will continue to happen until we leave this world and close our eyes forever. One of the programs we install is dependence, a very interesting program, that keeps upgrading throughout our lives in more modern and subtle ways.
So, we’re dependent on our mother, on her moods, thoughts, and eating habits, and that continues even after birth. We’re fully dependent on her (or a person who substitutes her), even though a mother is irreplaceable, but we’ll talk about that later or on some other occasion.
What else can we install in the womb, the place we want to go back to, very often?
We can install insecurities, rejection, anger, rage, frustrations, sadness, depression, and piles of different fears… Of course, there is a huge amount of love, tenderness, security, warmth, and laughter because otherwise we would never dare to come outside. In conclusion, we absorb the world through our mother – we look at it through her eyes and feel it through her heartbeats…
– all mothers in this world have a humongous responsibility.
When we finally come outside, another stage of this one-of-a-kind adventure called “life” begins.
Even though we’re still fully dependent on our mother, we start to meet other people. We meet the father – who is also a significant person in our life.
Father, by his duty, uses his stable manly hand to transfer his programs onto us, which he took care of, so one day he could give them to his successor. He’s here to teach his child the difference between “good and bad”. He teaches his child how to be a tough person, just like he is, so the child can cope with “the tough life” and “suffering” that are expected on a life path.
Forgive them God, they don’t know what they’re doing!
Then we have some other people, brothers, sisters, grandpas, grandmas, aunties, and their husbands, which also add a bit of everything. They are wanting to gift the newborn child with “life values”, and the tradition must be respected and passed on to all generations.
Just to be clear, everything they are doing is “for our own good and with the best intentions”, and we know what that means.
Moreover, I want to highlight, that not everything they are teaching us is wrong – absolutely not! But until the time comes when we are mature enough to judge and filter what’s great and what not, very often it’s already too late. Programs already took over us, and we can’t really see which one is destructive, and which one is constructive. Because by now they are all mixed, differences are small, lines are blurry, and we’re lost.
All children in the world are good and pure, that's how they come into this world. And they stay good and pure as long as they can enjoy being a kid; however, this value is not very much appreciated in our society, the point is to grow up as soon as possible.
We grew up listening to: “when are you going to grow up and become mature”, “stop fantasizing and grow up already” …
Plenty of demands and conditions are placed on children every day, until they just get tired and suddenly “grow up” just to please them…there is so much of this kind of pleasing on that forced path of “growing up”.
I’m not even going to mention how you owe them everything they ask from you because they make countless sacrifices throughout their lives just for you, and now you’re acting like that…
I wish parents actually asked their kids what they really want on their life journey.
Occasionally, they really ask them, but those wishes weren’t “realistic”, most often they are just “fantasies”. So, they explained to their dear kid in a gentle, or in rough way, that after all, they know what’s best for their child because they are “grown-ups”. They are full of life experience, and they know exactly how “hard life is” even without those unrealistic fantasies, which are unreachable anyway. So, they just want to protect their child from additional suffering and fighting in life, which is out there anyway.
Please don’t think I blame them, they do have the best intentions because they went the same process as you, from the womb until now. And they were thought all of this by their “wise” parents, teachers, professors, neighbors, relatives, friends, and media (TV, radio, newspaper).
This is just one way of showing love towards you, and they love you in the best way known to them.
Facts about making you grow up too fast when you were supposed to be a child; killing your self-esteem, excitement, and admiration towards life; a life which has a purpose of being everything but suffering, fear, and constant fight with someone or something, those facts are something you need to face now if you have the guts.
And you should have…for God’s sake, you’re a grown-up now. So, “if you have the guts” because it’s much, much easier to follow the path that has been cherished, straightened, and predictable for centuries, than to start making a brand new one, yours, a completely unpredictable path.
Because if you fail, they will say: “we told you so”, and then you will feel lost. It takes a lot of courage and daring to walk the path you choose yourself, despite the great risk that you might hear from your: parents, relatives, friends, or maybe even your partner: “we told you that can’t be done, why didn’t you take already made and safe path where everyone goes”?
Only the person who is willing to take the risk of making a brand new, unique path, with complete trust in oneself. Trust that this path is going to take them to the dream they abandoned when they were a child. Trust that this path will lead them to all the “crazy fantasies”, beautiful imagination in which hours flew by… And now overgrown with a pile of installed programs, waiting to be rediscovered and fulfilled… only that kind of person can take a new path.
With a great feeling of satisfaction, I can say that I’m one of those people. I started making my own path, and luckily, I meet more and more people who are doing the same, and they inspire me to follow my path, although occasionally, I trip and fall, but then I get up, shake off the dust and move on.
There is no better feeling than realizing that anything is possible. Everything they told you that “is not possible!” — IT’S POSSIBLE. They didn’t lie to you or kept is a secret, they simply DIDN’T KNOW.
So, what do we need to embark on such an adventure?
You need a bit of courage to start, a bit of craziness, a lot of determination and patience, and huge amounts of knowledge that you will collect along the way and use in your everyday life. If you feel like you don’t have enough courage right now, ask the child within you, that you once were, to give you some – children are naturally generous in sharing. Craziness shouldn’t be a problem, we all have more or less of it. But determination could be missing, it most often is.
Try to look for it in that feeling that takes over you when you imagine your life goal, the one that had to disappear with all the other “fantasies” while you were a kid. Imagine how that is happening right now– the feeling is beautiful…and you are starting to feel determination within you to make it happen.
And knowledge is everywhere around you, you just need to learn to recognize and accept it. It is necessary to distinguish the essential from the unimportant because now you can already reason consciously and make your own decisions. He who seeks will find. I know it sounds simple, but it's simple, every great journey begins with the first step.
So, when we break through yet another in a series of programs imposed on us - that nothing is simple in life and that every sucsess requires significant effort - take the first step. Sweat and tears and hard work—that's the only right way to achieve something in life—entirely wrong, but what can a person do when it's imposed and programmed a long time ago.
Anyway, it's time for our deprogramming or reprogramming, however, you like it. But in any case, this process is completely reversed from what we are used to. Therefore, we will need to make some effort. I believe that the concept of effort is not foreign to you because all your life you are constantly making an effort to be something, to reach, to have, to keep. You have a program of effort since birth, the only thing you need now is to use that program for yourself and your life goals.
However, it is necessary to activate it only when it is really needed. This needs to be specially emphasized because you might be asked to just let go without any effort. And that can be very difficult indeed. Sometimes you'll put in great effort to do something effortlessly. It may sound strange, but all these programs are also very strange, and even stranger is the realization of how strong they are and every so often it will seem to you that they are stronger than you. Therefore, in order for the beginning of your personal journey to be easy, I must tell you that it will be truly difficult and demanding.
It's not all that simple. You will need to follow some rules, and you will need to honor some agreements with yourself and other people. You may have to change your obligations to yourself and to other people, or change them completely. It may be necessary to give up many things, habits, and even some people you hold dear.
I tell you, there will be a lot of sweat and tears, your soul and heart will bleed, and you will want to give up many times. You might even be cursing the day you were born. It can seem to you that your whole life is painful and absurd. It could be very difficult and very painful.
But let's stop here for a moment, doesn't this happen occasionally in your life one way or another and completely without your control? You have been living by the rules of other people and society in general since the first day of your life. Dear and valuable things are lost or broken, you change your habits conditioned by other people, and loved ones leave you when you least expect it.
You plunge into great pain and suffering… and no one in this world can truly understand your pain. What is the meaning of your life at all, you didn't deserve it, and why is this happening to you? At first glance, there is no difference between the path imposed on you and the one you choose for yourself. But believe me, the difference is huge.
And only because of one “little thing” that is different, and which is called - taking responsibility for your own life. So, in all this drama of life, you begin to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life, and you begin to understand that your decisions create your reality.
After you become aware that your dear bracelet has broken, or you have lost it due to your carelessness, that your certain bad habit is holding you back in your progress; after you become aware that a loved one left you because you treated that person badly or took them for granted…
Once you realize and accept your own mistakes and responsibility for a series of bad things that happened to you in the past, things really start to turn in a whole new direction.
When you begin to draw knowledge, wisdom, and experience from your pain. When your tears start washing away that same pain. When you know, you “sweat and bleed” for your higher cause. Then everything starts to change by itself, you won't have to do anything special, except accept responsibility. And that part of the story is really the hardest.
Let's look back for a moment; how can you be responsible for being abandoned by the love of your life, who cheated on you with your best friend? You simply cannot be responsible for other people's corruption and hypocrisy! Or how can you be responsible for the fact that your car was scratched out of all the other cars in the parking lot?
How can you be responsible for your boss being a total jerk and firing you for an enormously small mistake? You simply cannot be responsible for all these events! Oops sorry, but yes, you are responsible. You don't have to be aware of all the details, it's enough to start accepting that in each of these events there is a part of your responsibility.
To begin with, you will have to stop blaming other people, strange situations, the politics of the country you live in, God or bad weather, for everything bad that happens in your life. And most difficult and most important, you must stop blaming yourself too.
There is no defendant, no jury, no judge, they exist only in your mind. And when you accept it as fact, it will disappear from your mind as well. No one is to blame, and no one will be judged, and it is your responsibility to accept that. I believe that you are a bit sick of this massive responsibility, it even sounds a bit scary. I also find it terrifying but fascinating at the same time.
Every time you become aware of something new about yourself and your life and when these realizations pass through the conscious door of your mind, from that moment on you bear responsibility for it.
And all this massive responsibility, no matter how terrifying it may be at first glance, is at the same time a measure of your inner freedom. The more responsible you are, the freer you are—remember that. The feeling of inner freedom is one of the most valuable and beautiful feelings that a human being can experience.
Because of all this, I mentioned at the beginning that these adventure trips are not for everyone.
And many people are not ready to seek and create their own way, when there is an easier way, maybe even a highway. The one that others made, so if something goes wrong others will be blamed, they left that hole in the road.
If you follow their path, then it is logical that they are also to blame. However, if the road is only yours—your own creation, if you come across a hole in the road, then it's your hole and no one else's, you forgot to repair it.
If a giant tree fell across your path, I'm sorry, but it's from your forest.
Comments