When he served as the rabbi of the New West End Synagogue, he lived in London’s West End, in Bayswater, across the street from Kensington Palace. His children would play in the playground just outside the palace and often the red Royal Air Force helicopter bearing Princess Diana, would land outside the palace, and the princess would get out of the helicopter, wave to us, and then enter the palace. We often heard Diana’s helicopter hovering perilously over our house as if to land on our roof, late at night, as she returned to Kensington Palace following an engagement. He would turn to his wife and say, “Diana is keeping very late hours. As her LOR—Local Orthodox Rabbi, he will have to have a word with her.”
Indeed, he got his chance. On November 29, 1996, he went into his local barbershop, Lucas’ Hair Salon, on Bayswater Road, to get a haircut. There was a blond teenager getting his hair cut by his barber, Lucas, and there was a young woman sitting next to him who looked very much like Diana, the Princess of Wales. He turned to a middle-aged man sitting by the window and whispered,
“Is that the Princess?”
With a shrug of the shoulders, he replied, “I don’t know.” (It turns out that he was her security guard.)
A young woman ran into the shop and said breathlessly to the Princess, “May I have a photograph with you?”
Diana replied, “I would rather not, thank you.”
Then he knew for sure that it was the Princess.
He nodded to the Princess as he sat down on the sofa opposite her and she nodded back.
He mustered up the courage and he said, “I am the rabbi of the local synagogue, around the corner, in St. Petersburgh Place—”
She cut me off in mid-sentence and said: “You mean rabbis can take a half an hour off for a haircut?”
He rose to the occasion and replied, “It seems that even princesses can take half an hour off for a haircut!”
In an amazing “coincidence”, the following night, Motzai Shabbos was to be a gala Cantorial concert in his shul with Cantor Malovany from New York and Chazzan Herstik from Jerusalem. He had written a letter to Princess Diana eight months earlier, inviting the Princess to join us at our synagogue for the following night’s cantorial concert, on November 30, 1996, but the Princess wrote back that she was otherwise engaged. He reminded her of this invitation. “But thank you for inviting me,” she said.
Diana had just revealed to the British people her impending problems with her marriage and her personal issues and he said, “Princess, in Hebrew, we have a saying, ‘chazak v’ematz—be strong and of good courage.’ he wishes the Princess well.”
He got up to get his hair washed and then realized that the teenager in the barber chair next to the Princess was none other than Prince William, the future King of England. Only his hairdresser knows for sure that Prince William has mousse put in his hair. After his hair wash, he went to sit down in Lucas’ chair, the very barber chair just vacated by Prince William. He thought to himself: I’m sitting in the very same chair as the future King of England! He “vowed” then that he would never wash his trousers again.
That night was Friday night and, after his wife lit the Shabbat candles, he said the traditional kiddush blessings over the wine. Then he turned to his wife and kids and said,
“You’ll never guess who he met today!”
After a few guesses, he told them, “He met the Princess of Wales! In fact, he sat in the very same chair as Prince William, the future King of England!” After the excitement died down, he said the following to his young children,
“You know something? He is a king…. and he is also a king! Diana is a Queen….and Mommy is also a Queen. Look at our Shabbat table fit for a king and a queen. And you children are the loyal citizens of the realm. We are all dressed in our finest Shabbat clothes. Our finest china and crystal are sparkling on the table in honour of the Shabbat Queen. And, he and Mommy are king and queen of our house, not because we are in charge of the house. The essence of kingship is that a king and queen care for their subjects and provide for their welfare. He, too, is a king, and Mommy is a queen because we look after you children and care for you and provide for you and encourage you and love you. We perform the same role that kings and queens perform for their subjects.
You and he have the capacity to be a king or a queen. The problem is that we often sell ourselves short. As the lyrics of a popular song by the 1980s pop group, Kansas, goes: “All we are is dust in the wind.” No wonder so many people are walking around with a negative self-image. All I am is “dust in the wind”? And that was a top-10 song! Look at what we have been saying, singing, and integrating into our cultural view of ourselves: we are worthless!
We have to begin relearning our basic worth and value. By showing care and concern for a spouse, child, neighbour, or stranger, he can overcome his personal isolation, distance, and loneliness. He can activate feelings of a positive self-image by developing his giving qualities and by being there for someone. That is, he needs to rediscover his royal self--his giving self.
If he is feeling down, he has the power to take himself out of his negative mindset by reminding himself of his essential royal nature. There is a regal core lying dormant within his being and all he needs to do is to activate it by doing one act of giving or kindness—for that is the essence of royalty.
The job of a King is to rule, legislate, and lead the people. But the essence of “malchut”-royalty or kingship, is that the monarch “provides” for and gives to his or her subjects. God, as King, provides us with everything—eyesight, food, oxygen and brainpower, and so on with which we can journey through life. That is why God is called the “King of Kings”. He is the Ultimate Provider--of life itself. In return, we are invited to feel and express gratitude to God.
No one else can really pull him out of a state of depression, except him. Energized with this new self-knowledge of his regal essence, he now feels empowered to take control of his own life. He need not blame others for his loneliness and sense of alienation. He cannot blame others for his predicament and He cannot abdicate his responsibility for his own state of mind. He is actually in control of his own mood and can talk himself out of his feelings of alienation and isolation by “digging deep” into his royal, giving, and spiritual core.
It is a matter of free choice. He can choose to activate feelings of depression or he can choose to activate feelings of royal worth and value. When he chooses to think positively and act upon this realization, he can concretize this feeling of empowerment. He can get himself out of the house and visit someone who is less fortunate than him, deliver a meal to an elderly person, or volunteer at the local hospital. He can make a phone call to a relative who is shut in or ill. Then he will be actualizing his regal-giving nature and can look at himself with self-respect and begin to feel positive about himself.
If you were to make a list of the ten things with which you could not possibly live—isn’t it true that most or all of the items on your list have been given to us by a Higher Authority? His list includes eyesight, hearing, breathing, mind, and free will…he invites you to write your list. He will wait. Isn’t it true that this list is comprised of things that you did not create yourself, but rather that came from beyond you?
Now, the next step in the gratitude process is to enter into a dialogue with God.
Me: “Why have You given me all of these wonderful things, God?”
God: “Because I love you.”
Me: “You have time to think about and provide for tiny, insignificant me?”
God: “You are very significant to me because I created you.”
Me: “What do You want in return?”
God: “Just say, ‘thank you.’”
Me: “Thank You.”
Gratitude is the basic building block of any relationship. True, it implies that we are indebted to someone for giving to us. However, in that acknowledgement of indebtedness, a bond—known as a relationship—is created. And God wants a relationship with each of us.
Commentaires