There are lots of myths regarding what works and what doesn’t work when becoming a successful negotiator. In the classes I’ve taught what always seems to surprise people is that it isn’t all the language—your moves, your turns, your BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement)—it’s your body language, exuding confidence, openness and a readiness to negotiate, that really counts.
Ninety percent of initial communication is non-verbal, and we’re going to get our first impression of someone including their anxiety level, confidence, willingness to negotiate and all sorts of other pertinent information, from their body language.
Don’t forget to stand tall, keep a relaxed smile on your face, and focus (internally) on finding a win/win alternative. It’s also easy to get caught up in what those around you want or are feeling. To be effective we’ve got to keep emotion completely out of the mix and arrive with an openness, both physically, emotionally and cognitively.
Negotiation is a collection of behaviors that include clear communication, assertiveness, problem solving and collaboration, but most of all, problem solving. It’s essential to have a clear understanding of your own motivations (what do you really want and why) and those of the other party, as you try to persuade the other person to do what you want them to do.
We also need to have a degree of willingness to be present on both sides if we’re going to successfully negotiate. Part of that comes from awareness of how the individual wants to be treated and how you’re going to communicate with the other person.
Obviously there are many areas to understand to be an effective negotiator, however knowing how you’re coming across to others and understanding what someone else needs are enormous. We have choices in how we think and what we project, and that’s a great place to start when strategizing a future negotiation.
I’m teaching two negotiating classes for the University of Florida coming up in the spring; please let me know if you’d like more information.
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