Want to be a good conversationalist? To flip the question around, what makes you a good conversationalist? Here are few insights for you... Put in 80/20 principle in your conversation. Remember the Pareto Principle elucidated by Peter Koch in his book: The 80/20 Principle.
By and large, this principle is used in business, but you can put in this principle or concept to many arena of your work and personal life, but you must understand the concept right, since it's not as easy as it seems; not a mathematical rule. Either you read the book or get hold of the Pareto Principle.
In connection with the above insight, here's the another one: Talk Less Listen More, especially when someone is in grief or emotionally & psychologically distressed. Ironically, less is more here, but, listening is often underrated.
Put in Charles Derber's Support Response, and eliminate Shift Response from your conversation. People tend to fall for Conversational Narcissism. Avoid it, please! Shift Response in a conversation is about not caring about the speaker's emotions, and shift the speaker's attention to yourself by relating it to your own emotions. It destroys the conversation and relationships too. Avoid it, please!
Support Response in a conversation is about caring about the speaker's emotions. You not only actively listen to the speaker, you ask follow-up questions or open-ended questions either. And, make sure you ask good questions that encourage the speaker to carry out.
It does make a conversation...great. Go for it! All the insights are about listening, right? You now know why listening is imperative, don't you? You also now know whether listening more makes you a good conversationalist or talking more, right?
Listening is beautiful, but underrated. Never mind, you overrate it and stay a good conversationalist. Would soon come up with other insights that encourage you becoming a good conversationalist.
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